The Light in my darkness

Start of term break

2008-06-06T21:30:00.001-07:00

Finally term break is up!! Though it is only two weeks break and have a lot of homeworks, it is better than nothing. Already plan up the list of what I am going to do and the two weeks are already packed. Planning to have house warming and when thinking about all the preparation, I feel lazy already... haha... God, give me the strength and wisdom to plan this house warming successfully, Amen.

Have my first shepherding with Guihao last week - How to handle stress. One part keep me thinking about it is what would you do when you are stressful? Even though I know that God gives inner and external rest when we seek him but in my daily life, I would turn to my computer. This is something to look out for. Who do you place first? God or other?

Have started my own photobucket to put most of the photos.
http://s299.photobucket.com/albums/mm318/symphonyillusion/
(NYP Unit Cg, go to challenge your limit section! It's updated.)

Today's Verse: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest... Matthew 12:28

Finally...

2008-05-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

So many things happened this year... Don't even know where to start.

I got into Nanyang Polytechnic! And into the Digital Media Design Course! Make a lot of friends... The first impression I have about them was that they were very quiet but now they are talkative... Make fun of my name etc...
School is... tiring. So many modules homework keep piling up. I think I enjoy most is the Visual Audio.
Oh, and I join the String Assembly. Currently learning violin...

It is great to be able to meet up with my best friends even though we are from different school/course. Have a number of interesting incidents. (Can go to my friend's blog to check it up... http://unheardvoice.wordpress.com/)

X-29 was my last camp in youth before I transferred to the tertiary service. Though I miss the people in Yhope, but I enjoy the time I have with my new unit. They are super funny. Not long after I join their group, there is a camp at Golden Mile. Very different from the Youth camps but learn a lot from this camp.

This year is a dangerous stage for my spiritual walk with God. Polytechnic schedule is different from high school lifestyle and I couldn't adapt it very well yet. However, recently, I read my blog and felt refreshed after that. (Blog really helps you to recall what you have learn) Lord, I really want to get closer to you despite all the situation happened now. Teach me to be more self-controlled with my thoughts and actions. Amen.

Today's verse: Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah... Psalm 95:7-8)

Sad or happy?

2008-01-24T21:30:00.000-08:00

This is my first post for the year 2008... and here am I talking about my 'O' Level result.

I am not sure whether I should feel sad or happy. Happy is because the result is good but the sad part is my accounts didn't do very well and the total mark is not what I really want. (Well, at least, it was not very worse.) However, I know that I will get this total result.

In the middle of the holiday, I had two dreams. One was me getting a 14 points while the other is 16 points. So I was not very shocked when I got the result. Thank God for helping me so much to keep me calm and also for not getting a worse result. It strengths my faith after this experience.

Hopefully, I will be able to get to my course that I want. Wherever it is, it will be God's choice and follow his plans.

Today's verse: Has his promise failed for all time?... Psalm 77:8b

Photos from the camp-x29

2007-12-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

This is the main theme of the camp. Our new chapter, Acts 29!

"eyes- see no evil(Weiling and Jeslyn), ears- hear no evil(Mei rong), mouth- speak no evil(me)."
Clarice - flower pot :P

Haha... we have to eat something to keep us awake during the teaching.(Not that the teaching is boring but we did not sleep early.)

Me and my previous shepherd, Joanne.

Me and my shepherd, Elise.

Me and my sheep, Ona.

My Cg - CB2

Happening...

2007-12-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

Oh, last Thursday, we have sheep appreciation for Elise's birthday celebration. I had met Angela and Wei Ting on the night before to discuss about the plan. Through this time, I have come to know her more. On the night, I brought Elise to eat steamboat where the rest of the people were waiting. (I had called her for shepherding so it is a surprise.) We had a good fellowship after that.

I am thankful for this camp, X29. I feel so refreshed after the camp as God provide me a newfound energy in me. Because God is powerful, all-knowing and ever presence, I will have the courage to step forward and be courageous to do big things for him. This is also how I can grow spiritually. God is bigger that all problems. Knowing the fact that God will provide a solution that will bring me out of the problems. This is how victory will be achieve.

I have made a small vow to the Lord:

I am really grateful to have you in my life
as you have shown me the light in my darkness.
I will love you more and more
through the days of my life.
I will serve you wholeheartedly and will not stray from you.
This I promise you.

Today's verse: And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it... 1 Corinthians 10:13

Finally...

2007-12-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

WFL and Church camp is coming soon! I am attending the Fruit of the spirit session and is hoping that this course will be able to help me to increase joy, love, peace, kindness, faithfulness, goodness and gentleness and improve self-control and patience. Church camp is also something to look forward of and this time, I do not need to study at night like I did for the June camp :P.

Now I am attending drawing lesson which i had started yesterday. It was interesting and with the help of the Japanese teacher(I have a hard time understanding her.), I could not believe that I am able to do a good piece of work for my first lesson. I also resume my keyboard lesson and hopefully improve my skills to bring the people to voice out their hearts to the presence of God.

Yesterday's prayer meet was good! After the end of the PM, my heart was so at rest. Last few days, I was feeling so dead. Thank God that God refresh my heart.

Today's verse : Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble... Psalm 119:165

Burden...

2007-10-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you."

It suddenly appeared in my mind tonight. I was very weary and depressed with the things happening today but God had been faithful to me and had refreshed my heart. Thank you, God.

Today's verse: When I was in distress, I sought the Lord... Psalm77:2

A new tiring month...

2007-10-08T23:25:00.000-07:00

A lot had happened in the weeks. Last Saturday, the four of us, Mei Rong, Clarice and Jeslyn went to Shaw tower to study. I had a big headache after I went home. However, I suddenly have the urged to continue composing my new song and I had finally finished the music. All that is left is the lyrics... my first song for God.

In a flash, 'O' Level is coming... I am going to have an INTENSIVE study in these two weeks!! Everybody is so stressed up! (which also cause me to feel this way.)

Today's verse: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever... Psalm 73:26

The 'Past'

2007-09-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

Haiz... didn't get the chance to post it until now...

Anyway, I got my prelim results back!!! Slightly disappointed with my Amaths and Chinese but I'm glad that I did my best and got a reasonable results.

Last Wednesday, Elise and I went to shop in Central. Elise didn't get what she wants and in the end, I was the one buying (which was not supposed to... I'm broke.) a pair of sandals. My previous pair of slippers had injured my feet. It was bought recently and therefore I didn't want to buy a new pair at first coz I might get a wrong choice. Elize asked me to buy it and also pray about it. I did and in the end, the sandals are comfortable.

When I returned home at night, Ona messaged me and asked for shepherding!! I was so happy when I read it. It was the first time she asked it. Since I did not know Ona well as she was my new sheep, we talked about one another the next day. It was interesting and challenging because we really have different personality and lifestyle. But I'm glad that it was an eventful time. After that, I met with Gerlyn to find a new spectacle for myself. Thank God for her! Even though she was very tired after her lesson, she was still willing to accompany me.

Last Saturday was my graduation photo-taking day. It was early in the morning but everyone was having a great time. We had to dress all white and took lots of photos. My friends kept saying that I look a lot like my mother. I guessed it was because I wore a long skirt and a pair of high heels which is what my mother usually wear. After the photo-taking, Gerlyn, Melody, Ay Tyng and I decided to go out and at the same time find a suitable spectacle which I could not find on Wednesday. It was strange to wear all white so I had prepared a new shirt. (anyway, I was going to service later.) In the end, my eldest sister also joined in and we had bought it.

After service, what I learn most is 'Leaders accept responsibility, Loses make excuses.' We have to serving God willingly and not half-heartedly.

Last Sunday, I had bought my Piano Grade 8 books. It was so difficult! I can't believe I am going to play this. During the free time, I went to check some of the Christian names. Recently, my eldest sister had found one, 'Viven' which means alive. I found this interesting and search one for myself. Since my name was hard to pronounce for some people, why not try it? In the end, I found two, Ansel - with divine protection and Vera - truth. I still could not decide.

This morning, I did not know what had came over me but I had the urge to write a song for God. I jotted down some phrases in my notebook. Wow... can't wait to see my final production.

Today's verse: My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"... Psalm 27:8

A Long Week

2007-09-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

Finally, prelim was over! Really thank God for helping me through this tough period. Without him, I think I will be too stress up. On the last day of prelim, my cg went to Novena to 'celebrate'. It was very tiring after the long walk in the shopping mall.

Yesterday is my church anniversary! I love this message. Don't depend on limitation. Focus on God as everything is possible through him.
After the anniversary, I felt sick. I guessed it must be because of the coldness in the Marquee.(The air conditional was blowing directly at him.) I was so tired when I reach home. I prayed to God that he will heal me as I want to go for the Jump conference the next day.

Today morning, I was feeling a bit better but I was still having a slight fever and a backache. I didn't dare to tell my mother as I know that she would not allow me to go. (The conference was in the morning. She would make a big fuss over it. Anyway, she don't really understand english so it is safe to write down.) Not letting my mum knew I was sick, I went early for the registration. Fanny was surprised to see me so early. I was the only one in my cg to attend this course but luckily, I was not alone as my brother's cg was there.

The conference was good and I learn quite a few things from the second lesson. One of the things is that during choosing of songs for cg, play them to see whether it helps you to encounter God. This is a good instruction. If you can't encounter with God, what's more having the cg member to encounter God.

Before the lunch break, I was slightly distracted as the backache became worse and I was feeling very warm. I kept praying to God to heal me. After the lunch break, I suddenly became much better. God had answered my prayer. I was more attentive than before during the workshop. At night, my previous shepherd, Joanne, messaged me to pray for me. Somehow, the news of my sickness spread to her. Thank God for her caring heart.

I received a message yesterday night from my piano teaching that I pass my Grade 7 practical exam. Yay, I am now officially grade 8! (Praise the Lord!) Now I don't have to worry too much about piano exam and focus on study. Can't wait for the 'O' Level to end. (so that I can be committed to other thing.)

Today's verse: It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect...Psalm 18:32

The First Attempt

2007-09-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

This is my first time doing a blog... I have seen a lot of people post their thoughts and I felt like doing so....

Today, I was planning to study outside before I went for service as I found that I could not concentrate at home... It had been the same throughout this week of holiday. While I was thinking of an area to study, I met Angela. She was going to met her sheep for shepherding. We talked mainly about our houses, me- clark quay, Angela- Chinatown. Because I am moving around the end of this year or the beginning of next year. I do not really want to move as I have been staying at this place since I was born. It holds a lot of memories... It is also convenient(can go anyway easily with the MRT and shopping centres- central, chinatown, orchard, funan, cityhall...). I have ask my father to renovate but he did not want as it is expensive (The forth level already show a big crack on the wall... hopefully it won't collapse). I didn't mind my parents to have a house at chinatown but as Angela had told me, it was not very safe. Haiz... I want my house!!!

In the end, I followed Angela to centerpoint mac and sat opposite them to study. Prelim is on monday and I am still in my holiday mood.

During service, I had learn a lot from Pastor Jeff about working faith. It struck me a lot. (In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead... James 2:17)
Come to think of it, I had made empty promises to God. Though I did improve last year, I find that recently I have been drafting away from the promises I made. I have to take actions and not just keep having feelings or saying out to do them.

Halfway through the altar call, I had to leave as I had my piano lesson. Sadly, I wouldn't be able to hear finish what Pastor Jeff had to say.

When I went home, the real trouble came. Once again, I had broken the promises and started my 'Anime time'. It had been my hobby since young. Some say that it is not harmful but I have slowly became addicted to it. And when i am addicted to it, my impatient and anger was shown towards my nagging mother. It have become dangerous in my walk with God.

Thats why I started to have this blog so that I can reflect and remember what I have made my promises to God. God is the light in my darkness heart. I believe that God will be able to save me from the temptation as I continue to seek him.

Today's verse: In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent... Psalm 4:4